Let’s dive into this very yummy, super mystical and highly taboo topic of women’s pleasure.
If it comes to female orgasm’s women feel generally either shame because they don’t have them (and shame is also one of the causes why they don’t have them) or they have them too much, too intense, too wild, too loud.
Shame is huge because we feel ashamed of who we truly are!
I lived most of my life disconnected from my true authentic nature, self-love and my own sensuality. I was not able to trust or receive, and I was afraid of intimacy. I had to work to have orgasms.
Orgasm is a representation of how we live our life in general. Are we running around striving, doing and trying to achieve a goal or are we enjoying the process, states of simply being and allowing the present moment to unfold its magic.
How alive, open and connected are we to all that life offers us, including the beauty of our wild innocent erotic nature.
Why women might not experience orgasms?
If you don’t have orgasms, you are not broken. It totally makes sense from where you come from and how your body responds to pleasure.
Some women can let go no matter what, but most of us need to feel safe.
Sex is generally something everyone does but mostly no one talks about. As women we grew up in a sex-negative society picking up so many unhealthy messages around our female bodies and sexual organs.
It started when we began to explore our bodies and genitals as children, and were made wrong for it. So at an early age we began to shut down our natural flow and expression of sexual energy.
We are deeply influenced by religions that preach sex and spirit are separate and pleasure is bad and sinful. This makes us generally feel bad around receiving pleasure, and guilty about one of the most beautiful, powerful and healing forces in this universe.
We are lacking education as teenagers. High gloss magazines show us what feminine bodies are supposed to look like. Many of us learn about sexuality from porn that gives us a totally messed up view of what female pleasure and orgasms are about.
We miss sacred initiation rituals into womanhood that remind us and anchor in us the power of the divine feminine within.
Many women experienced very unpleasant first sexual encounters that leave them feeling not loved, honoured and with physical or emotional pain. Men often have no idea what women need to experience multi-orgasmic states of pleasure. How can they know, if we don’t know as women?
All of those experiences stay as imprints deep within the texture of our female bodies, hearts and souls.
The Good news? We have the power to transform them from within.
You will get to know your Yoniverse, learn delicious breast massage techniques and everything about the Yoni Egg.
So let me re-define orgasm first of all. Generally speaking we can classify orgasms in two categories: Peak orgasms and orgasmic states.
The qualities of peak orgasms:
- Fast stimulation, building up tension and release.
- “Doing” and having a goal. We “think’ we know how to go from A to B. Kissing, touching breasts, then vagina, rubbing the clitoris, 3-20 seconds of fireworks, done.
- Fiery explosion, followed by a short moment of relaxation, that often turns into tiredness and a feeling of disconnection or wanting more.
The qualities of orgasmic states:
- Slowing down, exploring and relaxing into pleasure.
- “Being” with what is and not having any goal. Moving in spirals from soft kissing and breast caressing to deep penetration and back. Inviting all feelings from pleasure, from sadness and anger to joy and laughter.
- Expanded states of energetic bliss, love and connection with yourself, your partner and the whole universe.
All women are wired differently in how they receive pleasure. Some experience clitoral orgasm, some vaginal orgasms and some think they don’t orgasm at all, but in fact have a beautiful energetic orgasm all over their bodies.
There a few major pleasure spots every woman and man should know about:
1. Clitoral orgasm
Clitoral orgasm happens by exploring or stimulating the clitoris. It’s generally a quite sharp explosive experience, very similar to male orgasm with ejaculation. Tension builds up and is released, followed by a short moment of relaxation and recovery. Many women don’t want their clit to be touched straight after orgasm, as it can be too sensitive.
Clitoral orgasm was the only version of orgasm available for me most of my life. It’s beautiful and fun but also quite limited.
2. Vaginal orgasm
Vaginal orgasm happens by exploring, stimulating or penetrating the entrance and inner walls of the vagina. This generally takes a deeper openness and more time.
3. G-spot orgasm
A few centimeters in and up towards the pubic bone is the G-spot. It’s discovered by scientist Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg at the beginning of the 20th century, but many women knew the magical Goddess spot already before. It’s more an area than a spot. The texture of the skin feels different, a bit similar to the roof of the mouth.
If this area is stimulated, the woman might have the sensation that she needs to pee. The G-spot is also connected to female ejaculation, which in sacred sexual traditions is known as having mystical access to amazing powers.
I had my first G-spot orgasm practicing with a Yoni Egg. Many women I work with have a similar experience, as they bring their awareness more into the inside of their vagina. It often comes with lots of pleasure, release of emotions and deeper satisfaction.
4. Cervical orgasm
Cervical orgasm happens by exploring, stimulating or penetrating the cervix, the neck of the uterus, that lies deep inside the vagina. It’s has the form of a cherry and feels a bit like the tip of the nose. For many women, the cervix is painful.
Penetration doesn’t mean hard pounding, but rather a moving from presence that follows the woman’s response. We are talking here about one of the most sensitive and receptive parts of the female body. The Cervix is the holiest of the holy.
It generally takes an even deeper openness, a high level of arousal and trust. Cervical orgasm usually comes together with a big heart opening as there is an energetic line that connects the heart and cervix. This orgasm is super pleasurable and often arises in combination with strong emotions like anger, sadness as well as most delightful states of bliss. Women can attain very mystical experiences as well as high states of consciousness.
5. Full body energetic orgasm
Full body energetic orgasm can happen with or without any of these earlier mentioned types of orgasms. You don’t even need genital stimulation or physical touch at all. This orgasm mainly arises by relaxing and surrendering into any form of pleasure. Without having a goal, allowing the tiniest sensation to spread inside the body.
The physical body and the energy body are engaged in full body energetic orgasm. A woman feels shivers, shaking, buzzing and energetic waves. It can last from several minutes to several hours. This happens for men and women.
This orgasm makes you feel energised and powerful. Full body orgasm is liberating, relaxing and deep. It is a profound spiritual experience.
I had my first full body energetic orgasm while receiving a Tantric bodywork session.
During those sessions there is often a lot of release of stress and tension that is stored in the body. Women can cry, laugh, scream, and/or shake, as suppressed and stuck emotions are freed from our physical and emotional body.
There are even more orgasms like anal, breast and throat orgasm. A Woman's body is so amazing when it opens up.
Every woman is capable and worthy of having as much orgasmic pleasure as she wants in her own unique way.
A good measurement of sexual satisfaction is how you feel after, even days later. Are you feeling empty and depleted or energised and powerful?
No orgasm is right or wrong but it’s very liberating and empowering to have a variety of options and to make a conscious choice.